It’s happened to everyone at one point or another. One moment, you think you’re with the perfect girl, and the next minute, you’re on the highway headed to Crazy Town! Crazy women are everywhere in the dating scene, and the worst part is that they know exactly how to hide their scary side.
What kind of crazy women do we speak of? Check out these two terrifying scenarios:
“I was once with this girl… smokin’ hot. The only problem was that she was a real clinger, really needy. I like being close to my girlfriends and all, but we’d only been dating for a week! I decided to take a step back, and when I wouldn’t respond to her texts, she actually sent two of her male friends to my house to kick my ass. She was insane!” -Mark, 29.
“My last girlfriend was a cheerleader in college. She was cute, but our personalities didn’t match, and I never liked her very much. Over the course of three years, I’d tried to break up with her more than 20 times, but each time would elicit a ridiculous reaction. The first time, she slapped me in the face and said she refused to break up. Other times, she would have panic attacks, have her friends call and scream at me, or call my work repeatedly telling me that her car was broken down on the side of the road. I always stayed. The irony? She ended up dumping me for someone else!” -Carter, 26.
Can’t tell if your girlfriend is secretly bananas? Here are 15 signs that your girlfriend isn’t playing with a full deck!
#1 The texting obsession. One surefire way to tell if your girl is packing that crazy sparkle in her eye is to monitor her textual behavior. Does she blow up your phone 24/7 with texts, e-mails, photo tags, calls, and voicemails? It may be time to reel her in a bit. If she refuses, block her number and look the other way!
#2 Past admissions of crazy behavior. Does your girlfriend regale you with tales of insane past behavior with her exes, friends, family, and more? These might seem like hilarious social stories when you first meet, but if you find that drama and crazy behavior seems to follow your girlfriend everywhere she goes, she may be the common denominator.
#3 She’s really bad at stalking you. We all know that girls can be nosy at times, and a little bit of snooping is sometimes to be expected when you enter a relationship. But there are definite limits. If your girlfriend has utterly high-jacked your social media, phone, or e-mail account and has made no attempt to hide it, you’ve got a crazy on your hands. What’s more, if you find that your accounts have been wiped clean of e-mails and your photos and texts have been mysteriously deleted, you know who to blame.
#4 She hates other women with a passion. It’s natural for girls to be a little jealous of other girls now and then, but if your girlfriend has a personal stash of hatred reserved for any girl who dares enter her vicinity, there’s definitely some trouble a’brewing.
#5 She denies 100% of the stories told about her. You’ve been together for a couple weeks now and you’re starting to meet her friends. All of the sudden, you’re hearing all these maddening stories about her. You may even get a warning story from an ex of hers over social media telling you about her secret craziness. What’s more, your girlfriend has got wind of these tales and adamantly denies all of them— even the funny, harmless ones! If your girlfriend is acting super sensitive about past deeds, it may be a sign that she’s getting ready to pounce.
#6 Lies, lies, and more lies. Liar, liar, pants on fire! If your girlfriend lies about all topics, big and small, then you’ve got yourself a girl with a flair for drama. And drama = trouble.
#7 Surprises that cross the line. Who doesn’t love surprise presents? You don’t, especially when it’s your crazy girlfriend’s 6th surprise pop-in at work this week. Frequently showing up where she wasn’t invited or to events that you specifically planned sans girlfriend *i.e. guys night!* is not only rude and annoying, it’s also super clingy.
#8 Insane fighting behavior. We all get riled up when we’re arguing, but some girls can take it too far. If your girl has a loud mouth during an argument, that’s one thing, but when she starts throwing plates or smashing your guitars, we say duck and take cover.
#9 Manipulation station. Manipulation is a crazy girl’s specialty. Examples of manipulation can include emotional distancing, saying one thing but meaning another, playing games, not texting back purposely, being condescending, using sex as a weapon, and, of course, using those big, puppy-dog eyes. This may come into play even with perfectly sane girls, but if you feel like your girlfriend is wrapping you around her finger at every turn, you may just be in for the worst ride of your life.
#10 She’s uncomfortable with stability. We’ve already said drama is troublesome, and a girl who can’t stand a comfortable life full of love and stability is a crazy girl that you definitely need to stay away from. These girls are fun to watch in movies, but not so much fun to date.
#11 She’s burned her bridges. Look around… does your girlfriend have any friends? Does she have acquaintances she’s known for more than a couple of months? Does her family still talk to her? Has she maintained a steady job for more than a year? If your girlfriend has burned every single bridge imaginable in her life, take that as a huge red flag, especially if she seems proud of herself about it!
#12 She governs your friendships. One bad sign that your relationship has headed to the “psycho-control-freak” zone is when your girlfriend starts to decide who you can and can’t hang out with, along with the date, time, and activity. You didn’t need your mommy there to decide who you made friends with when you were growing up, and you don’t need your girlfriend to do it for you now!
#13 She plays the victim constantly. Seem like your girlfriend can’t be wrong without playing the victim? This is typical of crazy women! If your girlfriend is the victim in every single story she tells or in every argument you have, something is definitely amiss. No one is *that* unlucky.
#14 Your sex life is wild, in a bad way. Can wild sex really be bad? Writhing on top of you and getting loud, or surprising you with sex in the back of the cab are both pretty awesome… but getting holes poked in your condoms, having a selfish lover, or a porn-star copycat are definitely not fun sex partners.
#15 She’s itching to get married. Nothing is more annoying than a girl who won’t drop the topic of marriage when the two of you haven’t even been together long enough to realistically consider it. Being pestered about popping the question is beyond presumptuous, especially if you haven’t been dating for that long!
Crazy women aren’t always easy to identify. In fact, they’re experts at hiding their inner raging bull! We hope these 15 signs will help you to zero in on crazy women and give you the chance to run screaming in the opposite direction.